Wanted You More
by SmurfZXC714
Summary: She was weak— because no one had ever given her a reason to be strong-"you aren't allowed to cry. This is your fault."- I wished I'd seen I was just too blind. Oneshot/songfic Wanted You More. Major Zammie :


**_Wanted You More _**

* * *

><p>The fourteen year old girl stared at the boy on the swing next to her, whose face was distraught with anger.<p>

"Zach," she started, gripping the chain of the swing tightly, her hands clammy and her stomach contracting. He didn't respond to her voice, instead looking down at the dirt and kicking it with his feet. The fifteen year old boy wanted to be alone, but the girl persisted on trying to get him to talk.

"Zach," she said again, wanting to reach out a hand to lie on his shoulder but she didn't, because she knew he would shake it off anyway. "Please don't shut me out."

He continued to ignore her, doing exactly what she had asked him not to. To be perfectly honest the girl would have preferred it if he yelled at her for annoying him. If there was one thing she hated, it was being ignored.

She hated it because for the better part of her life that's all anyone did to her. Her parents didn't blink an eye when she fell of the jungle gym when she was a little girl, acting calmly and taking her to the ER without ever asking how she was feeling. Her friends always seemed to have other friends they'd always rather hang out with. Her two older sisters didn't seem to want anything to do with her.

_I kept waitin' on a reason_

And then there was Zach, the boy she'd lived next door to since she moved in when she was three. He had never ignore her; even though they went through a "cootie" phase, which was pretty self-explanatory. He was the only person that made her feel special— wanted.

When the two started their first year of high school everyone loved Zach, she was ignored a bit more, even though Zach never once abandoned her. He knew her deepest fear: being alone forever. When she was upset about it he'd cheer her up, and tell her things that made her heart melt and her brain go fuzzy. He had always seen her; even though to most everyone else, she was invisible.

But here they were; Zach angry and her trying to get him to open up to her, for him not to close off and shut down.

"Don't shut me out," she repeated again, softer. "You know how I feel about that."

He glared up at her, his eyes angry. "This isn't about you," he snapped.

_in a call that never came_

The girl gripped the chain tighter, feeling tears bud in the corners of her eyes. She had never been good about being strong with her emotions. She didn't know how to block them out; not like Zach who seemed to be a robot.

"I know," she replied softly, the tears falling from her eyes because she didn't know how to stop them. She was weak— because no one had ever given her a reason to be strong.

_no I never, saw it comin'_

_somethin' in you, __must have changed._

"Tell me what happened," she demanded quietly. The force behind the command wasn't strong enough for Zach to take her seriously.

"Why the hell are you crying?"

She shook her head, getting the feeling he was about to yell at her.

"You aren't allowed to cry," he snapped. "This is your fault."

She knew it wasn't her fault, but she nodded her head anyway, letting him believe it. She didn't have the heart to argue.

_all the words unspoken,_ _promises broken_

She had no idea what to say, and her brain was fumed with hurt and disaster and all she wanted to do was runaway but her fingers gripped the swing and she couldn't force herself to move.

"You ruined everything," he said in a cold voice. She bit her lip, nodding. "Leave me alone," he snapped when she still didn't move.

She shook her head to herself, hoping he'd get over this quicker and not send her away.

"I told you to leave me alone," he grunted, his eyes blazing into hers. The tears streamed down her face and she felt incredibly embarrassed. She cried at the drop of a hat; at anything that made her feel sad.

Finally her hand cramped undone and she released the swing, getting to her feet.

_I cried for so long_

"I'm sorry," she whispered, the tears fell hard and fast down her face, she was sure he hadn't heard. If he did, he ignored her and began kicking back at the dirt while glaring.

She forced herself to turn away from the boy she loved, knowing she wouldn't see him for a while. She'd wanted to tell him what was going on with her family but he obviously didn't care about that right now. And by the time he got over this and did want to apologize to her she would be long gone, on the other side of the country.

For Cammie, Zach was the person she trusted most in the world, the one who made her feel loved. And she opened her heart to him, letting him do what he wanted without even realizing it.  
>She had always thought he reciprocated some of the intense feeling she felt for him since she was ten but then again she'd never really told him how she felt.<p>

Well she had tried to, but he didn't believe her and his current girlfriend found out and dumped him. He thought it was her way of messing with his relationships. So Cammie supposed it was her own fault, for admitting her feelings and getting rejected. She had never wanted to lose her best friend; it happened anyway.

_wasted too much time_

And at the end of the summer she would be moving away to southern California for the next year and six months because her parents spontaneously decided they wanted a change of scenery. And by law, they had to take their fourteen year old daughter with them.

She returned home, sobbing and retreated straight to her room, trying to comfort herself. After what seemed to be hours of crying the sniffles died and she cleared her head.

Out of the two in their relationship Cammie felt she was always the one hanging on, taking the blame when it wasn't her fault just to avoid arguing.

_should have seen the signs_

She was the one who persisted in their friendship and when she had admitted her feelings— which Zach had taken as a sick joke— he didn't blink an eye, instead getting angry at her for ruining a relationship that wouldn't have worked out anyway.

Cammie had always wanted Zach more than he wanted her.

_now I know, just what went wrong_

And even thought it hurt like hell, she was okay with that.

Maybe having this much time away from Zach would make her become more independent, more confident. She kept thinking that, instead of thinking about how much she would miss him and anticipating how miserable it would be.

She had to hope that life in California would be better than the one she had here.

_I guess I wanted you more, _  
><em>and lookin' back now I'm sure,<em>  
><em>I wanted you more<em>_  
><em>

_I guess I wanted you more_

For Zach it had been a two years and a month since he'd seen Cammie Morgan. 25 months since she "admitted" she loved him just so he wouldn't be with some girl. Looking back, he still didn't know if she was telling the truth. He assumed she wasn't, because after all what kind of person could love a monster like himself?

She moved without telling him, not that he had let her try to tell him. By the time he got over being angry she was gone: far away in California. His mother had told him when he came home from trying to see Cammie and finding an abandoned house with a 'For Rent' sign stuck in the lawn.

_All the nights we spent just talkin'_

His mother had given him a sympathetic look when she'd answered him, "Zach, the Morgan's mover away almost two weeks ago. I've been trying to tell you that for the last month and a half." He was succumbed to silence, astounded that Cammie had moved away without so much as a goodbye.

He couldn't blame her though; he knew she had tried to call and he deliberately ignored her, not wanting to see her again. Of course, after he found out she'd moved he'd called her, only to have one of her sister's, Ashleigh, pick up and tell him she was out with friends. He found it odd because Cammie wasn't one to get comfortable with new people.

When he did finally talk to her and apologize; she accepted but he could tell that their friendship would never be how it was before, not for a while anyway.

The Morgan's were only supposed to spend a year and a couple months in Seal Beach. Instead they stayed a little over two years until Cammie demanded that she went back to Roseville for her senior year.

So the Morgan's returned moving back into the vacant only one family had rented for the past summer.

_of the things we wanted out of life_

Zach hadn't known they moved back until her saw a main of sun bleached brown hair that turned golden under the bright lights in the hallway on the first day of school.

He didn't recognize her at first, her skin was a deeper rich brown, her hair was lighter and her face was different, more grown up and sculpted. And the way she acted; she was a completely different person, more confident; not as socially awkward.

And he went to go be smooth with the apparent new girl, only to have her flip her hair out of her face and recognizing the blue eyes that had always been warm and trusting, and after two years; that was one thing that hadn't changed. And her dimply smile which for some reaon made his heart beat a little faster.

_Makin' plans and dreams together,_

"Cammie?" he asked, shocked, almost out of his skin. He half expected to wake up and dreamt it all. But all Cammie did was smile widely, a smile Zach recognized but remembered was infrequent. She threw her arms around him as if there had never been a problem and hugged him tightly.

"Zach," she smiled, "I've missed you."

_I wish I'd seen I was just too blind_

Although he was stunned at the changes he saw physically he really hadn't expected her to be different personality wise. But when a guy nodded to her in hallway she laughed and yelled back him; making the other boy grin like an idiot.

It was strange for Zach because he always thought Cammie was pretty in an understated kind of way. But after two years in the California sun the darker skin tone seemed to give her confidence all over. He resented her a bit for it, but didn't think about it much because he'd been the one to force her into this new person.

The new Cammie wasn't bad at all though. She was still kind and caring, but now it was for a lot more people than just Zach, which made him a bit jealous. And another thing was that she flirted with him a lot, dare he say, leading him on.

Zach had never thought he'd had any feeling more than friendship towards her. But here he was, staring across the class room at her as she talked to one of the stupid jocks on the football team, flipping her hair, and occasionally glancing at Zach and dropping him a wink.

Even thought she was still paying him bits of attention he felt ignored, just like she had all those years ago. He didn't know in California it had taken her weeks to succumb and retreat from her room and finally be strong so she wouldn't have to be hurt again.

That in California she had decided she was through being ignored and it was time more than one person noticed her.

"Cammie!" he called after school, jogging to catch up with her in the parking lot.

_My heart was open_

She grinned; something she often did now a days.

"Hi Zach," she said cheerily.

"Hey," he said, a little breathily. "I was wondering . . ." he trailed off, suddenly nervous.

She raised an eyebrow, still grinning. "Yes?"

_exposed and hopin'_

"Do you want to go out to dinner tonight?" he blurted, his teeth and tongue not being able to stop the word vomit.

This time her grin shrunk and he already felt rejection bubbling inside.

"I'm flattered," she said. "But I kind of already have a date—"

_for you, to put it on the line._

"Cam!" a beastly voice called and a large football player, Cole, jogged, up to them. "Hey babe you ready for tonight?"

She bit her lip and nodded, giving Zach an apologetic look, and mouthing 'sorry'. He nodded, his heart at his feet, feeling as though it had just been stepped on, ran over, and torn apart by a pack of wolves. "Bye Zach," she said softly, turning away from him to follow Cole.

He stood there, watching her laugh and flirt with the other boy. He had never felt such rejection in his life.

_But in the end, it seemed_

He returned to his car, sitting in it, wondering why he had ever let that girl go. Because—not that Zach knew it— he and Cammie had switched places.

She was the one ignoring him, with her heart closed off because she knew better. And now Zach had exposed himself to her, only to be shut down. He knew he'd only asked her on one date but it felt like he'd proposed to her and she'd told him she was seeing someone else.

_there was no room for me_

This time he wanted her more, and she decided she no longer needed him or his love; proving she could find it somewhere else.

. . .

_Still I tried, to change your mind_

After that, it wasn't like he didn't try again. When he asked her out the second time she told him she had family plans and asked for a rain check. And when he asked for that rain check she laughed and told him to stop joking around with her.

_I guess I wanted you more_

_and lookin' back now I'm sure_

He felt depleted by her rejections, time after time he began to wonder if that was how she had used to feel. Zach hadn't loved her when he was fifteen, well at least he told himself he hadn't. But truth was he loved her just as much as she wanted to love him. And while Zach was dejected and rejected Cammie felt slightly embarrassed.

Of course she still loved him; you never forget your first love. Although you couldn't really call it that because for it to be love it has to be returned, and as far as she knew, it never had been. She took his date proposals as a joke because she believed he was teasing her about their younger selves, she never realized it was genuine.

_I wanted you more_

She couldn't think to believe in the idea that he could fall in love. Not Zach Goode. So she brushed him off, unwilling to open her heart to him even thought she was crumbling his precious heart in the palm of her hand.

_I guess I wanted you more_

* * *

><p>Years later Zach sat in his apartment living room, watching a NFL football game on the TV. When he heard a knock; he wasn't really expecting it.<p>

He easily lifted his fit figure off the couch and opened the door, only to find a red eyes sobbing girl, completely out of whack on his door step.

He didn't recognize her as the girl he known for the past few years; he had never seen _that_ girl cry. However he did recognize her as the girl he knew before she went to California and came back a different person. He remembered the girl who constantly cried at the stupidest things, this was _her._

"Cammie?" he asked softly, her eyes avoid him. "Cammie what's wrong?"

_Ohhh, I don't need you_

She shook her head, tears dripping down from her chin.

"I didn't . . . Macey and Bex are both out of town and aren't picking up," she hiccupped. "And I don't know what else to do. . . I— Can I come in?"

Zach nodded quickly, opening the door widely and placing a hand on her arm.

"What's happened?" he asked. "What about Logan?"

Saying that only made her cry harder. "Shit," he muttered.

"Cam, I'm sorr—," he stopped, knowing she didn't want his apologies. "Here, sit down."

She hiccupped and nodded her head, sitting on the couch while Zach clicked the game off.

"No," she said. "Leave it on."

Zach didn't protest; turning the football game back on.

He sat back on the couch and was surprised when Cammie leaned over with a throw pillow and rested her head on it in his lap.

She cried and hiccupped some more while Zach remained quiet, pretending to watch the game, but listening intently for Cammie. Finally when she settled down and caught her breath there was a pause before she spoke.

"He's divorcing me," she said in a whisper, her voice voided. Zach tried to act calm, but inside he wanted to blow over to Cammie's house and rip her husband into pieces.

_ I don't need you anymore_

"What?" he settled for asking, a vicious tone taking into his voice.

"Zach," she sniffled again, and Zach worried she was going to cry.

"Don't cry," he hushed, stroking her hair.

"I love you Zach," she mumbled. "You've always been here for me."

It was true, mostly in part from all of her high school break ups, to her college break ups, to her marriage with Logan—which was quite possibly the hardest thing he'd ever had to let happen.

"Why is the idiot divorcing you?" Zach asked in a low voice, ignoring the hammer of his heart that came when Cammie told him she loved him.

Cammie shook her head. "He said I forced him to cheat on me."

"HE _WHAT_?" Zach roared, about to get to his feet before realizing Cammie was still resting on his lap. "He cheated on you?"

She nodded. "But it was my fault, Logan sai—"

"I don't give a shit what Logan said. You did not force him to cheat on you."

"I did," she denied. "He told me I was emotionally unattached."

"What the hell? I'm going to pound that guy—"

"Don't," she hiccupped. "Don't do anything. I know Logan's your friend Zach, I don't want to ruin for you."

"Cammie," Zach started. "The only reason I pretend to be friends with that jackass was for your sake."

Cammie turned her head so she was looking up at him. "What do you mean?"

"I mean; you're my best friend Cam, even if I never liked the guy I'd pretend if I knew he made you happy."

_I guess I wanted you more_

There were no words to describe at how hard Zach was pulling on her heart strings.

"You never liked Logan?"

"Never," Zach confirmed. "I thought he was a complete tool."

She smiled a bit, but her eyes were glassy. "You are a great guy, Zach Goode."

He grinned, "So I've been told."

"I'm serious— you're the best friend ever."

"Aside for the part when I was mad at you and then you disappeared for the next two years."

She rolled her eyes, but her cheeks flushed. "That was stupid and we were like fifteen. I'm over it. Your over it, all is forgiven."

He smiled at her; the words that he wanted to say not making it past his teeth.

"Shouldn't you be consoling me about Logan?" Cammie tried to joke. Zach's smile softened.

_and lookin' back now I'm sure_

"I know I should tell you to try and work it out but I don't want to lie to you Cam. The guy is scum, I put up with him for a while because he made you happy. I don't want you to be in a relationship without happiness," _or without me_.

She laughed, but he could tell it was forced. "I wished you'd told me that before the wedding."

Zach was the one forcing a smile this time, _if you only knew_.

"I thought he was what you wanted."

She nodded, looking away, as if she didn't want respond to that.

"Wanna know something funny?" Cammie asked.

Zach nodded, glad to have stopped her crying and making her smile.

"Remember when you did get mad at me; do you remember what it was for?"

He nodded again. "You told me you were in love with me just to make some girl break up with me cause you didn't like her."

Cammie laughed a bit and shook her head. "I didn't do it to make her break up with you. I did it because that was the way honestly how I felt."

_I wanted you more_

Zach sat up a bit straighter.

"You actually meant it?"

She smiled and nodded. "I was so in love with you; it was kind of healthy."

"You were not."

She nodded again. "I was. Remember at the time you were pretty much the only person in the world that talked to me. There was no one else for me to fall in love with."

"You were not in love with me."

"I did. I swear I did!"

"You could have told me that," he mumbled.

Cammie rolled her eyes. "I did."

"I thought you were doing it to make me mad!"

She shook her head.

"Wow, all this time, huh?"

She turned red. "Not anymore," she lied, "I mean kind of when I got back from California, but then you ignored me and—"

"Ignored you? Cammie the second I saw you at school I couldn't look away."

"That isn't true," she rolled her eyes again. As if it was ludicrous. "I've always wanted you more than you did me."

_You're wrong_, he thought, but didn't say it. "Even if that could be true, I've always needed you more."

"Don't be ridiculous; you've never needed anyone but yourself."

Cammie sat up and repositioned herself to look at him.

"You're wrong if you think that."

"I am not."

_I guess I wanted you more_

Zach decided that it was now or never. "Cammie, I love you—I'm in love with you."

She looked a bit stunned for a moment before smacking him lightly and laughing; pretending to be angry.

"Zach don't make fun of me for that!"

Great— She thought he was joking.

"Cammie," he said his voice serious. "I'm being serious."

Her face turned serious too. "Stop it Zach, it isn't funny anymore."

"It isn't supposed to be."

"I didn't come here so you could torment me," she said, getting up.

He grabbed her arm, pulling her back onto the couch and kissed her hard, defiantly trying to get his point across. His tongue teased her lips open, and she seemed too shocked to respond, but he only kissed her more until she responded, melding her tongue with his. He kissed her until he ran out of breath, shakily pulling away.

"Zach…" she started trying to catch her breath.

"Cammie," he said. "You believe me now?"

_I don't need you_

She ran her fingers over her lips, trying to determine if it were real or not. "I don't understand," she settled for answering.

"I love you," he tried to explain. "I've loved for a while now— even before you left for California; it just took me a while to figure it out."

"Zach, I really don't understand."

"I was too blind to notice I was in love with you. I was blind sighted by anger and the fact that you were my best friend. It took me a while, but I love you Cammie. I really don't know how else to say it."

"You can't love me," she whispered.

"I do. You were wrong before. I've always wanted you more. I watched you date throughout senior year and college, all the while I never said a thing because I knew you valued our friendship," he said, feeling a little breathy.

"Why are you telling me this now?"

"I don't want to live the rest of my life in regret."

"Zach— I'm _married_," she whispered, her voice sounding broken.

_I don't need you anymore_

"You're _getting a divorce_," he retorted.

"But still. . ."

"He cheated on you. And you seriously worried about your marriage."

"People make mistakes."

"You're right, and tell that to you was a big one; just go home Cammie," he said, finally fed up at being rejected.

"No," she said. "I'm glad you told me."

"_You're _glad? Well I guess everything's okay then."

"Zach don't be like this. You're shutting me out because you think I'm rejecting you."

"You are rejecting me!"

"I never said that."

""Zach— I'm married"" he quoted.

"Would you shut up and pull your head out of your ass for a minute?" she snapped.

He was quiet for a moment.

"I _am _married. And I'm finding it really hard to believe you've been in love with me all these years."

"Well it's true; I just kissed you."

"I need a little bit of time to get my head around it."

"_You_ need time?"

"You just sprung this on me ," she protested.

"I made it pretty obvious over the years."

"No to _me_."

_I guess I wanted you more_

Zach sighed and looked away from her. "Fine, can you go and process this somewhere else then."

She smiled lightly at him, then more mischievously.

"I've kind of love you all these years too," she told him.

_and looking back now I'm sure _

Zach looked at her confused; had they really been through all that so she could say that?

"So that means—"

She got up and found her way to the door in the small apartment.

"It _mean_s, that well both have something to look forward to after the divorce has gone through," she winked, grabbing the door handle and opening the door.

_I wanted you more_

"Cammie wait!"

"Bye Zach," she hollered, slamming the door closed behind her.

Zach fell back on the couch; completely drained of energy. _I've waited all these years what's a couple more weeks? _He thought to himself.

Then he sat back and relaxed, trying to convince himself that he did the right thing and he would finally have what he'd wanted for years.

_I guess I wanted you more_

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN: A bit of angst? Check. Fluff? Check. Zammie? Check. Drama? check.<br>Review?  
>One shot to Wanted you More by Lady Antebellum<br>I do not own characters or lyrics. _**

**_Again.  
>Review? <em>**


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